To all the boys I loved before, in chronological order: 

~ahhh baby love my baby love... puppy love. weslide together holding hands. you even danced at our christmas party. i sangthen. i wonder if you became the all star basketball player you always wantedto be?

~i wonder where you are right now? i tried to cyberstalkyou. all you ever had was a friendster account! no facebook?! tsk. i missedyou. how you try to hold yer breath til you get ruddy. ahhhh. you can even playthe flute. which i found cute back in grade 5. you promised you'd call mebefore you leave butuan but you didn't. :( i was the last to know that you leftfor manila already. you said you'd come back. you never did.

~i know you left already. off to a better place.we may not have lasting memories like others do. i will remember how we watchedGhost-fighter on our respective TV while we talk on the telephone. i missedthat. i miss how you ask me for the lamest things just to call. like borrowinga calculator when in fact we are 7kms apart. that song with the lyrics"standing by my window, listening for yer call.." i am reminded ofyou. id miss you. we will miss you.

~i hate you. really. we are like opposite poles.we argue at the smallest detail. you rarely tell me what it is that you feeland you cant tell me that you wanted me to come home because you wanted methere. the truth is, i hate myself even more is that you leave me blushing andsighing and mooning over you! argh!!

~you left for manila. you didn't say goodbye. andnow you came back. with a wife in tow. how is that?!

for what its worth, i know you have been true. assweet as "hindi kita madaling malimutan" sounds i must admit i hatedyou. i was ready already. ready to say YES! but then... you left for didn't say goodbye.

~i hate the fact that you see me as someone beyondyer league. it hurts to know that you rejected my feelings. you said no becauseyou were scared that you will not be enough for me. but did you even ask? causeyou were. you still are. :( sad. really. that is why i call you almost. and youknow that already.

~you told me before that if you had yer way youwould have courted me. i wish you did. even then, its fine. we are better of asfriends anyway. i know i can count on you. thanks for that.

~i loved your name. the composition, its meaning.everything. i love your long pony tailed hair. the way you smile with thosepearly whites. and that voice. shit! i cant believe i would like somebody likeyou?! and i did! thanks for that talk. and that hug. it made my departure worthit.

~my ex. yeah. i loved you, even if you made mecry.

~why is it that i am attracted to guys with kids?!O_O darn. not all but some of them.

you are everything i ever wanted. my ultimate. youare the proof that my ideal guy is real. til i see you. ;D

~ i always liked guys who are smart. and you are.i find myself ogling at whatever you say. you keep me pondering on why you saythe things that you do. i could negate at what you say but i find myself pulledinto yer world, into your perspective.i think you know that i like you. i likeguys who speak their mind. and you do. i admire you. your wit. sarcasm. and howyou go with life. yer perspective. and we both know that we are better of aswhat we are. we both know that we are wise to fall for something juvenile. andi know and i guess you do as well that we will only remain as friends.

so there. 

this is my anti-valentine.

i spent my valentines day err dawn with good olfriends.

booze. smoke.


status: single since 2004. omfg! its been aloooong looong while. 

i think im managing it well.

as summer finn puts it :

You don’t believe that a woman could enjoy beingfree and independent?


I think relationships are messy and people’sfeelings get hurt. Who needs it? We’re young, we live in one of the mostbeautiful cities in the world; might as well have fun while we can and, savethe serious stuff for later.

~likes Summer Finn to the core!!!

someday. i can be comfortable with the idea that iwill be someone's anything. 

and one day i can say "I love how he makes mefeel, like anything is possible, or like life is worth it."

HE is better than the boy of my dreams. he's real. 

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