bummer

23. 

damn, im old. 

jan 16

i turned 23 at exactly 5.23am. 

i worked my ass out, then came 1pm.

weee finally, restday.

slept. woke up.

fever.

slept again.

i even missed the pyrotechnic contest in sm. bummer.

i went to fuente, checked the scene. walked a few miles. 

ate at kfc.

slept again.

next day.

sinulog.

rain.

so i thought maybe id just make up for the wasted time yesterday.

i was hoping i would.

rain.

matt evans.

melissa ricks.

cesar montano.

hmmmm. rain and more rain.

my dad called from Africa. 

asked for my permission to use my lappy.

i went out with friends to yala. i had my fireworks fix at long last. 

awestruck.

wanted to know if the pyrotechnic contest was any good than what was in yala.

we went to outpost. 

was a bit excited to see if my workmate was playing. 

he was not there.

guess he left.

then it was clear to me that there was never really a point in waiting.

was pissed.

was really pissed.

this was suppose to be my post birthday celebration with friends.

all i had were my cousin and a really good friend. 

has some laughs and some good chitchat.

was really sucked was that, this was never really my plan. all i to have funwas a good talk over coffee though i never really drink. i can just sit thereand smell the aroma from the cup across me or nearby the table where we shouldbe sitting til the morning comes.

i ordered a pitcher of kamikazee and chug on them like there was no tomorrow.

brainfreeze.

my heart felt like frozen for a while. 

gave me a sense of euphoria.

what hurts though, was that i felt like i made a fool out of myself.

felt like i never really was supposed to be there.

i could have stayed at home and ate the pistachio icecream, but i chose to goout to have fun with friends.

wait. what friends?

where are they?

stuck somewhere far.

i felt sad for myself in a way.

looking pathetic there.

waiting.

waiting.

ive been living and walking the face of the earth for 23 freaking years now.

and at times, i wish i knew how to lie.

lying these days has become a necessity.

yes. i am pissed.

last year, i spent my birthday with my bestfriend and a good friend back inbutuan. it was also raining.

oh yes.

it was a total bummer.

that was my sarcasm.

truth hurts. that is why we lie.