worthless

i could say that i am officially a bum now. i have not been working for 2 months already. i'd be giving you a rundown of my employers and i dont need to be specific about it.

1. my first job. i had the time of my life there. imagine getting employed that fast. it was the only company i applied for and i got a spot there. i knew id love it. i loved the work. i was immersed with different people and i loved it. i was having a blast working for overtimes and even on rest days. i was that hardcore. then something came up, i needed to leave. i left. got depressed for almost a month. cried. slept. cried. lost some weight.

2. my second job. it was not as great as my previous work. it was a bit challenging. i love challenge but in the long run i was thinking : what's in this for me? i don't have friends i can talk to here,maybe some but not all. i missed my previous job. i miss them bad.

3. different line of work. serving coffee. i was a trainee then at a coffeeshop. i was mainly in the kitchen. i loved to cook and i was enjoying making sandwiches and slicing fruits for the frozen yogurt. we were sabotaged by our superior. she didn't like us that much. i don't know why though. i just knew that we'd never get the job. we left. both me and a fellow trainee. i think i survived 3 days there. 

4. i applied as a market research. boy was that monotonous! the work environment was a bit toxic. people hurting other people. and yes, you guessed it. i left. 

i am currently a bum now. i tried to apply at this banking field. i always always always fail. i keep wondering why?! why not me? other people have done it, why not me? so i decided to not apply there anymore.

i applied at a publishind field as well. i knew i did well in the interviews, was able to proceed til the manager's interview and maybe just maybe this is it. i didn't get the job.

i was starting to feel like i was unworthy of everything. i feel like this was the universe telling me that i need to be better. i need to be good at everything. or maybe it was the other way around. maybe i was not that good at all. i was never good at anything. 

they say i had a flair for words. i was told that i was pleasant to talk to. i wish it was that easy.

i applied as well for this non-voice job. something that deals with typing an being a virtual assistant. i will get a call. that still didn't come. i got a reply from my previous employer. im ecstatic for the result. i hope i can get back there. im waiting still. i don't normally wait for something but this is what i am waiting for.

i was recommended for this seminar staff. im quite excited for this. maybe because i miss the thrill of conducting one. we used to have seminars back in college as part of our requirements. id be given free meals and transportation allowances and also an honorarium. i don't expect much out of it but im just excited how it would go through. 

they say, with my skills id land any job id want. maybe that holds true but for now i doubt that. i guess im just too picky with what i want in a job. what do i want? for now, i have to find it out.



3 comments:

  1. kaya mo yan... malapit na ang umaga... hehehe

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  2. I'm sad that I wasn't available to talk you out of this. And I only have the time to read this now. Bad bad bad. :(

    ReplyDelete
  3. we have our own troubles to deal with Liya. :)

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